If the sky were purple....

If the sky were purple.

And the grass was yellow.

Life would be so much more cool, don't you think?

In this alternate world, there'd be no homework, essays, midterms, exams. Nothing so trivial and pointless.

No grade can tell me how far I'll get in life, and the purple sky knows that. Too bad the sky is blue.

I WANT ONE!! (or two)

So cute!!

Words are Heavy...

... literally.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it's so hard to get words out, they feel as though they're just drooping out of your mouth.

Especially when you're tired. Sentences turn into short, sporadic words, because you just can't get them all out. It just takes way too much effort.

Perhaps because they're too heavy. Their physical weight can't reach the outside of your lips.

So your heavy words remain thoughts.


Or call me crazy.

To Life?

So I'm really not one to announce to the world my angsty rants - I usually leave that for diaries and friends who pretend to not mind listening to me. But it's not enough anymore, so I'm sharing it with the world. This may take a while...

I hate what my father did to my mom. I hate what is expected of me as a result. I don't like the chain reaction of events that have ensued in reaction to one nasty incident. I miss the way things used to be.
I hate tests and midterms and essays and multiple choice exams. I hate what society has become - a bunch of instituted rights and wrongs. Whoever said that success is an A was a fucking moron. Why do I have to go to school, get a job, get married and have kids. Who ever said that's what I want. I definitely never did.

Maybe I don't want to be in school. I hate being told that I need to prove that I can write an essay, and circle "A, B, C or D" correctly. Maybe I don't want to read a history textbook for school, maybe I finally want to learn how to read for enjoyment again. Maybe I just want to write a book, make some money and take off to see the world. I also hate that I have to make money to see the world - why do plane tickets have to be so expensive, is it really fair to limit who gets to see the planet they are stuck living on for a finite amount of years.

I hate it when a baseball player gets paid too many millions of dollars when they can't even hit a ball with a fucking stick, when I have to pay to get what I'm told is a solid education. They don't have to work a day in their life, they just swing a bat and they're set for life.

I hate dark and gloomy and rainy days when you're forced to get out of bed and follow through on what we're told are routines of our day. Maybe I just want to stay in bed on shitty weather days, instead of getting off my ass and writing a damn test that doesn't actually show if I'm smart or if I can do well in life or if I give a shit.

I don't like not being in control. It's easier when people are in sync with each other. Conflicts are an unnecessary wastes of life. Hmm... we're put on this earth for how many years? Okay, while we're here let's go fight with someone, let's tell them they're wrong, let's kill them and bomb them. While we're at it let's start a war. Then let's protest the war. Then let's start another one. Then let's tell people their values are fucked up and start another war.

I hate when roommates leave dishes in a sink they SHARE. Learn how to clean up after yourself. And don't leave an empty toilet paper roll while you're at it. If you finish something, replace it. Or don't use it. Wipe your ass with your fucking hand if that's what you're going to do. Buy paper plates. I don't care, just don't invade and destroy our common space.

I hate how my brother gets away with murder (no, not literally). It's his fault, and everyone else is taking blame for his shit. Maybe I'm jealous of you, getting to sit around and not be in society's institutions, or maybe it's just not fair. I hate how my sister uses people, uses me.
I don't like it when I don't get a full night's sleep, or don't sleep through the night, or have nasty nightmares - all of which probably resulted in this rant.
I hate drivers who think they own the road and are better than you and who think they can get away with cutting you off.

I hate the way we've treated the environment. We're destroying the very planet that we worked so hard to establish. We're killing off endangered species, who may very well be more important than you or I. What, we can talk and have conciousness? Look at the atrocities we use it for, maybe it's more important to save the panda than to save the human race.
I hate what Facebook has done to youth and that it's now turned into a common day standard that everyone uses. Why bother wishing me happy birthday on this new social plain if you never plan on seeing me again. Why bother adding me as a 'friend' if you've never even met me.

I hate the tease of fall, when a day can be sunny and gorgeous, surrounded by beautiful coloured leaves, and when night hits, it's cold. Or the next day hits and it's rainy. And then, even worse, winter comes and there's snow.

I hate the "good things live in Ontario" jingle and every other annoying jingle and super catchy radio song that get stuck in my head. Also, unanswered phone calls suck.

I don't like fake people, don't be nice to me unless you actually want to, don't waste your false effort on me. I don't like cancer, I don't like diseases, I hate UTIs and I definitely don't like back pain.


I hate that one bad thing can have a large, unnecessary affect on something so good. But when the goods outweigh the bads by such a large extent, it's so totally worth it. And it should never be given up on, even in times of weakness. Please don't question things that are wonderful and special, just let them be. Never go out of your way to question something amazing, when there are so many things that are unquestionably bad.

But for some reason, life's happy moments, such as doing bad things in a bed of pines, having personal moments of success, pretty flowers, baby animals, donkeys (yes, donkeys), mint chocolate chip ice cream (which I'm totally eating right now), and finding that person to love and feeling those marvelous emotions that go along side it make it all worth it. You are amazing for putting up with me, I appreciate you always, even when I may not act like it - don't forget it.

Life's funny like that.

Ups and Downs

Life is a series of ups and downs.

We have to take advantage of the times when we are on the "up".

The
top
of
the
roller
coaster.

The feelings of excitement and happiness that are reached at these heightened peaks.


We also have to work toward bringing the bottom back up to the top again.


You only life once. Reach for the top. Always.

Dogs who turn to Style

These dogs are friends.................




One is wearing a Coach collar. The other is wearing gold shoes.

This still bemuses me.

(poor things)

A fight for love and glory

No matter how far you may fall, there will always be someone above you, someone below you and someone there to help you get back up again.

//Oh, I could hide neath the wings
Of the bluebird as she sings.

Summer Countdown... Starts.... Now

After an emotionally exhausting, while still excellent year at that, I am happy to say that at 9pm tonight it will finally all come to an end and summer will come at last.


The night starts here
The night starts here
Forget your name
Forget your fear - Stars

A Quote by Neil Gaiman

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up a whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life... You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore... It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips- you-apart pain. Nothing should be able to do that.

The Eye, the Toilet and the Drugs

bandrubber says: (1:39:33 PM)
how's the eye ps

anon says: (1:40:17 PM)
eyelash is still in there

bandrubber says: (1:40:25 PM)
weird

bandrubber says: (1:40:29 PM)
maybe go to the walk in clinic lol

anon says: (1:40:36 PM)
lol
anon says: (1:40:51 PM)
im afraid it will develop some sort of mold around it if its in there for too long

bandrubber says: (1:41:00 PM)
so go
bandrubber says: (1:41:02 PM)
they'll flush it

anon says: (1:41:17 PM)
in the toilet? i still need my eye

bandrubber says: (1:42:37 PM)
true

anon says: (1:43:38 PM)
u give doctors too much credit, they are not gods

bandrubber says: (1:43:58 PM)
they give me free drugs

anon says: (1:45:46 PM)
touche

Title-Less

Because it's more fun to create art than to study... YAY for photoshop!

I love PostSecret

I hope so too.

Death Cab For Cutie

Can't wait for the new album!!

The Best Things in Life are Free(ish)

The best little things that make life worthwhile (sometimes)

- it got hard past the 40s, but I was determined to hit 101

1. music
2. chocolate
3. laughing so hard you start to cry
4. snuggling
5. baking
6. a good book
7. love
8. driving alone in the middle of the night, with music blaring
9. singing in the shower
10. good conversations that last all. night. long.
11. rainbows, sunrises, sunsets
12. mindless television
13. the symphony
14. mint chocolate chip ice cream
15. burning candles
16. wine
17. stars
18. bubble baths
19. success
20. fluffy clouds
21. summer
22. long walks on the beach (couldn't resist)
23. outdoor concerts
24. camping, 'the great outdoors'
25. daffodils
26. friends that are there for you always, even when you fuck up
27. falling asleep to the sound of a thunderstorm
28. puppies
29. a paycheck
30. lazy nights with someone you care about
31. best friends
32. art, painting
33. history
34. running
35. purple!
36. traveling
37. finishing the last exam
38. people watching
39. the zoo
40. having your dreams come true, even if only for a while
41. finding out something new about someone
42. the first blooming flowers of spring
43. dancing like you just don't care
44. making up
45. vacations
46. learning something new
47. the office (the show, not actual work)
48. seeing friends or family for the first time in a long time
49. buses that are on time and leave on time
50. plays
51. taking photos
52. chocolate covered strawberries
53. happy childhood memories
54. random evenings of random fun
55. butterflies
56. good sleeps
57. good hair days
58. twister
59. bonfires, roasting marshmallows
60. random phone calls from friends
61. finding out someone's been thinking of you
62. family (there are exceptions)
63. a clean room
64. birds chirping
65. scrubs marathons
66. swimming late at night
67. robin williams
68. successfully teaching yourself something new
69. finding out your favourite band has a new album coming out [and a concert]!! (like I just did!!!!) YAY
70. love letters
71. awkward first kisses
72. getting dressed up
73. perfect, sunny weather days
74. natural highs
75. walking barefoot in the grass and in the sand
76. apple/macs
77. writing
78. achieving a goal
79. tattoos
80. walking around a la birthday suit when nobody's home
81. lunch dates with friends
82. SuShI
83. adventures
84. collages
85. allergy meds
86. foreign accents
87. gardens
88. teddy bears
89. Halloween
90. peanut butter chocolate chip cookies
91. winning a debate or a bet
92. McDreamy and McSteamy
93. massages

94. having all the socks you started with before doing laundry come out of the dryer

95. colour changes of leaves
96. blueberry and apple cinnamon tea
97. banana pancakes a la chocolate chips
98. bunnies
99. Zach Braff
100. after a rainstorm/ the smell and the first glimpse of sun
101. living in the moment. carpe diem.


Feel free to comment on what I've left out!

A Movie Script Ending

//Now we all know the words were true in the sappiest songs (yes, yes). I'll put them to bed, but they won't sleep, they're just shuffling the sheets, they toss and turn, (you can't begin to get it back).//

The cynic inside of me thinks it's time to have a negative Disney movie be made, without a fairytale ending. Once upon a time... they didn't live happily ever after... the end.

Happily ever after movies raise the bar for over expectations in the real world that are rarely met.

Sure these movies do serve their purposes. They make us feel warm and fuzzy inside for about the two hours that we watch them for. But then they finish, and reality returns. And then what? We sit there pondering after an impossible fantasy world. Life is messy and it's time that Disney movies, and romantic comedies in general, acknowledge this - instead of showing off false perceptions of reality.


After all, sometimes the Wicked Witch does conquer all.

(But then again I suppose I'll never stop believing the romantic comedy dream. Maybe, one day?)

A Story Excerpt; from me to you, with love

Chapter 8: Oops and the Caterpillar


Leila looked back the next day on her adventures of wine. She also realized she had made a complete ass of herself, as she noticed in her diary a tad of a ramble in her handwriting that she had no recollection of writing. She apparently even titled her life that evening as All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go. There was what appeared to be a random guy’s name written in her diary with hearts all over it. However, she did not recognize the name, or the writing for that matter. And, her bed was empty. Confused and with her brain feeling like it was shattered, she crawled out of bed – her very empty bed (even emptier now that she wasn’t in it).
Leila then proceeded to look out the window and saw what looked like ten thousand feet of freshly fallen slow. Now, Leila wasn’t the biggest fan of snow, in fact it was her dream to live somewhere someday where snow was completely foreign. However, she felt a huge urge to go and jump in the giant snow hill hidden behind her home. So out of her house she ran, in her birthday suit since she had just jumped out of bed, and out into the snow mound.
After Leila remembered how cold snow actually was, she came back inside and much to her surprise she found a big caterpillar on her kitchen table. Leila found this pretty odd considering it was winter and all.

As time goes by

April? Already? For real??

And there's still snow outside? Why? WHY? Why call it spring if half of it's winter, anyways.


.Raindrops keep falling on my head.

p.s. leave the seals alone, they're cute

Why I love my Friends

Today I asked my friends what I should write a short story about.

One said sexual intercourse,

the other said abstinence.



Oh the dilemma.

Listen to the Lyrics

What is it about music?

That song that will change your life. Those lyrics that stick with you and won't go away. That song that overplays in your head a thousand times, that keeps you awake at night. Only music has the power to hit that chord in life. To show that we're all dealing with the same messy shit. How else can a song that someone who wrote miles away reflect the lives of so many others?

// Look down from your tower on high and take in the night

Inspirational Conversation of the Month

awesomenonymous says: (4:11:34 PM)
boys suck

awesomenonymous says: (4:11:36 PM)
relationships suck

awesomenonymous says: (4:11:42 PM)
and un-relationships suck even more

bandrubber says: (4:12:58 PM)
thanks man

awesomenonymous says: (4:13:05 PM)
it's true

awesomenonymous says: (4:13:07 PM)
everything just sucks

awesomenonymous says: (4:13:10 PM)
my life sucks

awesomenonymous says: (4:13:11 PM)
your life sucks

awesomenonymous says: (4:13:22 PM)
the period god was very nice to me this month though