To Life?

So I'm really not one to announce to the world my angsty rants - I usually leave that for diaries and friends who pretend to not mind listening to me. But it's not enough anymore, so I'm sharing it with the world. This may take a while...

I hate what my father did to my mom. I hate what is expected of me as a result. I don't like the chain reaction of events that have ensued in reaction to one nasty incident. I miss the way things used to be.
I hate tests and midterms and essays and multiple choice exams. I hate what society has become - a bunch of instituted rights and wrongs. Whoever said that success is an A was a fucking moron. Why do I have to go to school, get a job, get married and have kids. Who ever said that's what I want. I definitely never did.

Maybe I don't want to be in school. I hate being told that I need to prove that I can write an essay, and circle "A, B, C or D" correctly. Maybe I don't want to read a history textbook for school, maybe I finally want to learn how to read for enjoyment again. Maybe I just want to write a book, make some money and take off to see the world. I also hate that I have to make money to see the world - why do plane tickets have to be so expensive, is it really fair to limit who gets to see the planet they are stuck living on for a finite amount of years.

I hate it when a baseball player gets paid too many millions of dollars when they can't even hit a ball with a fucking stick, when I have to pay to get what I'm told is a solid education. They don't have to work a day in their life, they just swing a bat and they're set for life.

I hate dark and gloomy and rainy days when you're forced to get out of bed and follow through on what we're told are routines of our day. Maybe I just want to stay in bed on shitty weather days, instead of getting off my ass and writing a damn test that doesn't actually show if I'm smart or if I can do well in life or if I give a shit.

I don't like not being in control. It's easier when people are in sync with each other. Conflicts are an unnecessary wastes of life. Hmm... we're put on this earth for how many years? Okay, while we're here let's go fight with someone, let's tell them they're wrong, let's kill them and bomb them. While we're at it let's start a war. Then let's protest the war. Then let's start another one. Then let's tell people their values are fucked up and start another war.

I hate when roommates leave dishes in a sink they SHARE. Learn how to clean up after yourself. And don't leave an empty toilet paper roll while you're at it. If you finish something, replace it. Or don't use it. Wipe your ass with your fucking hand if that's what you're going to do. Buy paper plates. I don't care, just don't invade and destroy our common space.

I hate how my brother gets away with murder (no, not literally). It's his fault, and everyone else is taking blame for his shit. Maybe I'm jealous of you, getting to sit around and not be in society's institutions, or maybe it's just not fair. I hate how my sister uses people, uses me.
I don't like it when I don't get a full night's sleep, or don't sleep through the night, or have nasty nightmares - all of which probably resulted in this rant.
I hate drivers who think they own the road and are better than you and who think they can get away with cutting you off.

I hate the way we've treated the environment. We're destroying the very planet that we worked so hard to establish. We're killing off endangered species, who may very well be more important than you or I. What, we can talk and have conciousness? Look at the atrocities we use it for, maybe it's more important to save the panda than to save the human race.
I hate what Facebook has done to youth and that it's now turned into a common day standard that everyone uses. Why bother wishing me happy birthday on this new social plain if you never plan on seeing me again. Why bother adding me as a 'friend' if you've never even met me.

I hate the tease of fall, when a day can be sunny and gorgeous, surrounded by beautiful coloured leaves, and when night hits, it's cold. Or the next day hits and it's rainy. And then, even worse, winter comes and there's snow.

I hate the "good things live in Ontario" jingle and every other annoying jingle and super catchy radio song that get stuck in my head. Also, unanswered phone calls suck.

I don't like fake people, don't be nice to me unless you actually want to, don't waste your false effort on me. I don't like cancer, I don't like diseases, I hate UTIs and I definitely don't like back pain.


I hate that one bad thing can have a large, unnecessary affect on something so good. But when the goods outweigh the bads by such a large extent, it's so totally worth it. And it should never be given up on, even in times of weakness. Please don't question things that are wonderful and special, just let them be. Never go out of your way to question something amazing, when there are so many things that are unquestionably bad.

But for some reason, life's happy moments, such as doing bad things in a bed of pines, having personal moments of success, pretty flowers, baby animals, donkeys (yes, donkeys), mint chocolate chip ice cream (which I'm totally eating right now), and finding that person to love and feeling those marvelous emotions that go along side it make it all worth it. You are amazing for putting up with me, I appreciate you always, even when I may not act like it - don't forget it.

Life's funny like that.